Tag Archives: Big Chop

I DID THE BIG CHOP!

Yep, I have officially cut off all my relaxed ends! I was planning to long term transition for a year or more, but I didn’t make it lol. I got to about the 10 month mark, and I let myself do what I’ve been dying to do for the longest time. I’ve absolutely hated my transitioning phase, but I was too attached to my long hair to cut it off. One day I realized that it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth struggling to do my hair, and walking around with big roots and straggly ends just to hold onto a little length. It’s just hair, and it’ll grow back. I cut off about 10 inches of relaxed ends and I currently have 4-5 inches of natural hair.

Let me just say the experience was not what I was expecting at all. I had already resigned to the fact that I would hate it, but I told myself I would just get over it. I thought I would cry about losing my long hair and hate my new short hair. But I was sooo wrong. I know it hasn’t been that long, but so far a week has passed and I haven’t had any regrets. I feel like it was the best decision for. I don’t always like seeing short hair on me, but I absolutely LOVE being natural. I love that I can actually run a comb through my hair when I wash it, or twist it and actually have the ends stay twisted instead unraveling. I love that my hair is all the same texture, and I don’t have to fight with it to make try to make the roots match the ends. I love that I’m seeing my natural hair for the first time in 9 years, and I’m actually able to enjoy it.

Everyday won’t be perfect, and I know struggles and bad hair days will come. But I’m willing to accept the bad with the good. Ultimately, I’m happy with my decision, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me and my hair. 🙂

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My First Twistout

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That I later pulled into a puff

 

 

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Conflict & Test Patches

I have gotten so anxious lately about cutting my hair. These relaxed ends are driving me crazy, and I just want to see my natural hair already. So, while I was prepping my hair for a shampoo, my hands found the scissors on my desk, and I cut a test patch. And then another, and then another. They’re all small, and mostly inconspicuous, but I couldn’t believe I had just done it. It’s such a crazy moment to see those relaxed ends leave, and my natural hair finally curl up on the ends. It was very tempting to keep going….

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BUT I’ve only transitioned for 6 months. My hair is only 3 inches stretched, and I’m not sure if I’m mentally prepared to make such a drastic change. My goal is to make it to next May (a year) and have 5 to 6 inches of hair to work with. I’ve never had short hair..EVER, and I’m 95% certain I wouldn’t like short hair on me. My entire life (possibly excluding the baby years lol) I’ve had long hair. I’ve dealt with insecurities my whole life, but one thing I’ve always loved about myself is my hair. So, this is kinda a big deal to me.

I want to be confident, I want to love me for who I am, no matter what my hair looks like. But I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t like it, and that it will show. I’m scared of others looking at me crazy. I wish I could have that “I don’t care what you think” attitude. Sometimes, I pretend I do, but deep down, I know that I care. So, as much as I’m dying to chop off all of my relaxed hair right now, I just don’t think I’m ready. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a change of heart and cut it tomorrow, or maybe I’ll make it to May after all. Either way, I just want to enjoy my hair journey, and love my hair, whatever point I’m at.